Wednesday, 16 April 2014

OCD and Me

So I am a self confessed obsessive compulsive. 

I know that many people feel that they themselves have OCD or some tendencies that cause them to categorise themselves so. This normally irritates the rest of the population which is understandable. 

I myself have been juggling with the possibility of having an obsessive compulsive disorder for quite some time now, trying to tell myself that they were just little 'quirks'. Not so much. This has becoming increasingly more apparent since moving out and living with my partner, Richard. He himself has his own quirks- alphabetisation, odd numbers and just the general order of belongings. 

This didn't actually bother me in my area of obsession but now I find that it does to the extent I will check the DVD's to ensure they are in order almost as much as he does. However we do not share the belief that anything we can control such as volume should be on odd numbers. Oh no. No way. Nope. Sorry. This is something we had to compromise on, i.e: me telling him repeatedly he was an idiot and therefore winning the battle. Now everything is on even numbers, thank you very much. Should I ever see something on an odd number I become increasingly more distressed and often when this happens in the car with the radio volume I will just stare at Richard until he realises his mistake. 

I have mentioned before in a nonchalant manner that Richard likes to leave mess wherever he treads in our home- bags on the table, shoes over the floor, crumbs on the side and such like. Regardless of my tone this actually winds me up no end to the extent that I could probably kill him. I find myself obsessively cleaning up after his mess at least three times each day and don't feel I can settle until I have done so. I never truly understood this before watching Jon Richardson's stand up performance where he explained the phenomenon of 'leavers' and 'putters'. To understand this and discover exactly which one of these you are watch his stand up clip here.

This to me explained just about everything I needed to know, vis a vis my relationship and obsession over order. I originally concluded it was because I had spent most of my six weeks of summer trying to make our place 'habitable' and therefore spent eight hours or more each day in one room cleaning, sorting and tidying. So for Richard to come home and leave his things where they should not be put was probably about the worst thing he could have done other than shit on the floor. 

Jon's explanation however has since made it crystal clear just what is going on here. He himself is a self confessed obsessive compulsive like myself although more so in that he cannot have a relationship because of it. He in fact made a whole series and wrote a book on his own day to day struggle with order, although he wouldn't have it any other way and believes he is doing everything the 'right' way. This made growing up and his university life a nightmare which may indeed be the reason he dropped out. He would leave notes for them telling them how to use the cutlery drawer in the kitchen and obsess over the cleanliness of the kitchen and bathroom. 

This is something I feel I can relate to. I have never had any desire to go to university and pride myself so. I have done rather well for myself without buggering off for three years and accumulating a massive amount of debt, or so I like to think anyway. That being said I always liked the idea of going to a completely different town or city, living away from home and being 'independent' if you will. 

However there was a slight problem with this. People. I absolute hate people. Especially messy, fun loving people. They are normally the messiest it must be said and the number of times I have seen people's blogs and statuses complaining about how their flatmates haven't washed up again or how they have eaten their food even though they labelled it enrages me beyond belief. I could not live like that, not without killing the lot of them. And that's when my fantasy of indeed going to university and not paying the fees nor doing the work blew up in my face.

Now I feel that my biggest challenge is arranging the tea, coffee and sugar canisters every day rather than worrying if someone has washed up a plate or two. 

I wish I could say that the previous sentence wasn't true but I am afraid it is. 


These are the bane of my life. These have well and truly sealed the deal on my obsessive compulsiveness. It may seem odd but these have caused me to go over the edge. They have to be not only in the order- tea, coffee, sugar but they also must each be in the centre of each tile and have the salt and pepper beside them and be a reasonable distance from the toaster. This is a view not shared by Richard nor his brother and this sends my OCD's overboard. I find myself checking these every time I enter the kitchen, first thing in the morning, when I get home from work and when I go to bed. They are never perfect and the number of times I have contemplated a) gluing them to the worktop or b) throwing them out of the window are too many to even begin to explain. Even when I know they look fine or I have just straightened them I can't help myself but check and reorganise them. 

I personally blame my Dad for this. He himself has obsessive compulsive tendencies which have become more and more apparent as I have grown up. Should my parents ever receive a new ornament my Dad is always the one to find a place for it and reorganise everything immediately surrounding it and in extreme cases the entire room itself. He too loves even numbers to the extent he can't eat an odd number of food or take an odd number of items. He will also go around and straighten up possessions around the home. Once again his madness will cause me to end up at a psychiatrist along with his love of rock music which now causes me to break out into song should it ever be played in a shop or at a party.

All I can say is, good luck to my future children, you're bound to be crackers...


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