Tuesday 12 August 2014

Four Years Strong

On Sunday Richard and I celebrated our four year anniversary. I say 'celebrated', we basically spent the whole day at home, in comfy clothing, watching movies and eating... A lot. The previous year we had a house party to celebrate us moving in together and the year before that I'm not even sure that we saw each other. We are so romantic. 

I guess this chilled out approach is why we work so well. I'm not the sort of girl who wants a huge fuss made out of her and Richard is the sort of guy who is happy to make the most of our time together, wherever we may be. Money also factors in a lot too, seen as August is quite possibly the most expensive month for us out of the whole year, with numerous birthdays and events such as our anniversary. We did however enjoy a delicious roast dinner and a bottle of champagne which had been given to us for our 21st birthdays but seen as we were so busy wasn't consumed until last night. I also received some beautiful roses from Richard the day before, proving he is still an old romantic at heart. We have also said we will find the time to do something exciting next month when our calendar isn't so crazy!


I already explained our not quite so romantic tale of how we first met and how we came to be in my post 'My partner in crime' but I guess the real question is how did we get to this chapter? Four years together, no arguments and now living together with a dog. Not many twenty one year olds can claim this. The amazing thing is that if you were to take it back four years ago to when we first met, neither of us would have believed you if you said any of this would happen. We didn't even expect it to last four months let alone four years! That's not to say we didn't like each other it's just that we were realistic. We were both young, care free and not ready to be tied down to anyone or anything thank you very much. So what changed? Well without sounding terribly cliché, we fell in love. We realised that when you really like someone you will make it work no matter how difficult, no matter what the distance is or the expense. That really takes us up to now.


Four years with no arguments is a big claim and I'm sure many people that read this will say "yeah right!" This is however completely true. We hate the idea of arguing with or shouting at each other. Seeing other people doing so makes us feel uncomfortable and we both look at each other with wide eyes as if to say 'this will never be us'. We like each other too much for that. It sounds pathetic, obvious even to say but for us it's as simple as that. It was such a long battle to get to where we are today to throw it all away, to argue over something as stupid as most break ups are, is just not an option. 95% of the things that annoy me or frustrate me are forgotten and laughed off the next day. I don't even mention them. Why? Not because I'm scared but simply because I know all I need to do is mull over them for the night and the next day I will wake up having discussed it with my brain and realise that it was stupid, that it's not worth mentioning and that in relation to what we have, it is pointless. The other measly 5% are still stewed over but I will then talk about them with Richard later and rationalise them with him. The great thing about this is that Richard does exactly the same thing. Therefore we don't argue and blow things out of proportion in the heat of the moment and end up hating each other, instead we talk about it like rational, normal human beings. Simples.


We also have a brilliant sense of humour- I can take the piss out of him just as much as he can out of me. I don't act like a diva and he doesn't act like a dick. We have a mutual respect of one another, knowing when to stop the sarcasm and when to be there to support the other. We also don't take one another for granted and we learn more and more about each other everyday. I've learnt that Richard is the sort of man that needs to be told to do something rather than being asked and Richard has learnt that I am someone who likes to be in control.


To claim that we are the 'perfect' couple would be completely wrong. No couple is perfect and just because we have outlasted many other couples our age and seem to have it all together doesn't mean that we do. We make just as many mistakes as everyone else. We get on each other's nerves, we do like to spend time apart sometimes and we do tell it how it is but we make it work because we want to make it work. I guess the bottom line is that you need to appreciate one another and what you have, rather than constantly nit picking and finding reasons not to like one another. You have to ask yourself; when the going gets tough can this person really look out for 'us'? 

What does this next year hold for us or even years to come? Well saving some money, that's for sure. We've managed to make it over a year now of living together and working our way up from measley apprenticeship wages to liveable income, in the sort of years where people think you should be out drinking and partying constantly. We've made sacrifices, however big or small they might seem to others and we've gone through some rough patches that only we know about, to make it to where we are today.


I guess this post is all about appreciating who you have, not making every day a chore and really just re-evaluating what you class as a 'drama'. Hopefully next year I can be writing a post all about where we managed to get to in our five years together. Watch this space...

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